Many years ago I was told by a very close family member that I was “far too nice” and that “nice gets you nowhere in life”. They followed this on with a little snigger and then laughed at the same time as calling me “Nicky, nice”. I remember at the time thinking what a rotten thing to say to someone, and I was really quite shocked that someone I cared about would level something like that at me as I had always considered being ‘nice’ as such a good quality to have. This statement was from a person I had idolised and looked up to from a very young age who I believed to be a great role model. Thankfully, when told this in my 20s, I was comfortable enough in my own skin to dismiss it as I liked the person I was and, although I would never allow myself to be ‘a push over’, as far as I was concerned if you needed to virtually ‘step over dead bodies’ to get to where you wanted to be in life then that really wasn’t going to be for me.
Over the ensuing years, I chose to have less and less to do with this family member but, at the same time, was always pleasant, and still am, whenever we come into contact. I watched them excel career wise at an almost stratospheric pace and was very proud at the level of achievement attained by this individual, and still am. However, the way in which that person chose to lead their life really wasn’t something that I wanted to emulate. I was quite happy carrying on being as kind to people as I could, whilst at the same time being firm and fair when needed. I worked hard and continued living my life in the way I always had before and cherished the great friendships that I formed along the way, which I still have to this day.
Over the years observing this individual from afar has been interesting, to say the least. Many years later we are still very different characters. I am very content and settled with my life whereas, I think it would be fair to say that, this person (whilst achieving considerably more than most career wise) has left complete and utter devastation along the way for anyone who happened to be in close contact with them and life isn’t quite so happy now.
If you are happy with the person that you are, don’t let anyone encourage or try and influence you to be otherwise. Stay strong and be comfortable ‘in your own skin’ to stand-up to this type of character assassination as you will definitely be the better person, by far, in the end.
I have always been a great believer in the concept of ‘Karma’. I am, personally, of the belief that if someone wrongs you and you can accept this wrong with humility and move on that Karma will prevail, sometime along the way. In this case, I have been proved completely correct.
If there are people out there that think I’m too nice, I can cope with that. We can’t be liked by everyone. What values do you hold dear to yourself? Do you think that being too ‘nice’ is a weakness or a strength? Please comment below. It would be great to hear what you think.
Until next time.